Okay, so I've read all the Twilight books a few years ago. I don't know how the hell I made it through,but I did. I love Harry Potter, and I've since discovered Hunger Games. Now those two aren't without flaws, but Twilight is the fuck-uppery of vampires and the always awesome (except Twilight) werewolves. Hell, if I could choose between vampire and werwolf (with wizard not being an option) I'd be a werewolf.
Okay, I understand vampires drinking animal blood if there aren't any humans to snack on, but COME ON! And day walkers would be scary as shit to me if they didn't sparkle. And the wolves were actually well done in terms of SFX in the flicks
Anyway, I'm bitching about Twilight...er, the characters. Here's the overall story from Bella:
"I want the vampires DICK while I cock tease the were wolf!"
And here's the rest of em (the ones that come to mind)
Edward: Starts the series as a 300 year old virgin!
Bellaon't get me started, my ex basically turned into her. Married and a baby RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL! Forget Mary Sue, the new term is Bela Fuckin Swan.
Alice: Okay, she's a decent character. I actually as rooting for her to kill everyone of the Cullens.
Carlisle: Awesome back story they didn't put in the movies.
Jasper: Civil War Hero, respectable enough.
Emmett: Cool name, shitty back story. I mean, what it took Meyer, like two minutes to come up with the mauled by a bear thing.
Rosalie: Basically a female version of Holden from Catcher in the Rye. Got raped, now shes a spoiled brat.
Esme: Let's introduce her and never talk about her being turned
Bella's "Friends and Family": ..... *gets gun, shoots everyone but Renee and the guy who almost "accidentally" hit Bella.
Sorry, I just slammed my face into the keyboard
The Volturi: KILL THEM ALL PLEASE! I mean, they sparkle but they aren't afraid to suck humans into flesh raisins.
The whole series woulda been better if the Volturi killed everyone except Alice.